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Discussion: Perceptions from outside looking inReported This is a featured thread

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Nookn
Nookn
Perceptions from outside looking in
Apr 9 2009, 7:52 PM EDT | Post edited: Apr 9 2009, 7:52 PM EDT
As an obroni who has found his Ghanaian soul mate 12 years ago, and entered into a relationship 6 years ago, can I offer my thoughts? Any foreigner wanting a lovely holiday to Ghana, visiting places of beauty, forrests, beaches, mountains, villages and festivals can have a wonderful time. It can be enjoyable and safe, provided you take some sensible precautions against maleria (insect repellant), pick-pockets or robbery from room (being smart how you dress and secure valuables) and your standard way of dealing with people (respectful and being a good negotiator with money matters such as buying things)

If you are looking for a sexual partner, then that is a whole new ball game. There is usually a huge learning curve for most foreighners to get their head around different values.

It is very risky to come to Ghana thinking western values of 'easy, no obligation sex' is 'everywhere just for the asking'. It is not.

Most gay men in Ghana prefer to take a long, getting to know you period, before intimatacy will be shared with you in a long-term exclusive relationship. A gay marriage is their goal. From my experience and observations over 23 years, most Ghanaians shun and reject casual sexual relations. Casual sex may occur but it is high risk behaviour for foreign tourists . Foreigners can easily fall prey to opportunists, leaving themselves open to grave risks such as imprisonment, blackmail, and exposure in the local media, if they do not understand this. Therefore, for a brief holiday to Ghana, it's best to keep sex off the menu. 9  out of 10 found this valuable. Do you?    
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berlinlawyer
berlinlawyer
1. RE: Perceptions from outside looking in
Feb 16 2012, 6:27 PM EST | Post edited: Feb 16 2012, 6:27 PM EST
so does that mean that all these messages you get on dating websites from Ghana are actually for real? These men are looking for a partner to marry and it's not just to get your money or a visa for the US or the EU? 1  out of 1 found this valuable. Do you?    
blackofe
blackofe
2. RE: Perceptions from outside looking in
Feb 17 2012, 3:54 AM EST | Post edited: Feb 17 2012, 3:54 AM EST
"so does that mean that all these messages you get on dating websites from Ghana are actually for real? These men are looking for a partner to marry and it's not just to get your money or a visa for the US or the EU? "
Honestly speaking,u cant figure it out what these people want from u. There r real people looking for love, and some are just scammers, its up to u to ask Qs,and dotn be a fool to send money instantly unless u believe what these people are saying is true, it wont be bad to talk to someone with cam and voice. ask questions whiles talking to him,see if he answers the questions straight away or wait a while,then u can suspect something. so the better way,thats not the best to find someone is real is to use a video and voice chat, talk real and see the results,its not a 100% recommendation. i know my brothers are despirate to live africa,and they will do anything for that,. if they want to be with u,its about taking chances,why dont u want him to be with u by helping him? enough said,i think internet dating in this era is all abt taking chances,maybe your luck will shine or u will be dissapointed,untill u r fed up looking online,KUDOS!!! 1  out of 1 found this valuable. Do you?    
Nookn
Nookn
3. Are dating site messages for real
Feb 18 2012, 5:10 AM EST | Post edited: Feb 18 2012, 5:10 AM EST
"There r real people looking for love, and some are just scammers, its up to u to ask Qs,"
Great answer blackofe. The webcam interview is almost as good as a face to face meeting in person (provided you have a good web cam connection).

The differences between advanced western countries and a (fast) developing country like Ghana are huge. Ghana has high youth unemployment with no social welfare safety net. Wages are very low but there are some well to do business men too who live luxury lifestyles too.

Thanks to social media being a global communications facility, internet dating is hugely popular in Ghana as well as in Western Countries. It is a risk in all countries since love and compatibility are so subjective and personal.

There are many genuinely gay men in Ghana looking for a man who will be their life partner. Despite a social taboo, gay men are becoming more self confident in following their sexuality and seeking discreet relationships of commitment and a shared life. Since living standards in Ghana are generally quite low, finding a partner who can offer a better quality of life, maybe a factor for some singles looking.

However, reviewing most gay dating web sites, it seems the X factor most sought by many Ghanaians is honesty, being yourself, showing full love and devotion to their future partner. However for inter-national romances to work, there needs to be lengthy probing of each others values and personalities and finding a match. Try and disregard the physical attraction completely because if the values and personalities don't mesh then the relationship will go nowhere. 1  out of 1 found this valuable. Do you?