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Location: Gay ghanaians and gay foreigners how do they see each other...

Discussion: Would be nice to read different opinions...

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errebe	Would be nice to read different opinions... Mar 19 2009, 7:49 AM EDT \| Post edited: Mar 20 2009, 1:53 PM EDT I've been planning a trip to Ghana for some time now. Had to cancel a couple of times though, because of work, no other reason. I had a chance to meet online quite a few ghanaians in some internet gay sites like gayromeo and gaydar. Well I can't tell how many contacts I made.. a lot... for almost most of them I have the feeling the guys just looking something in exchange... I don't count here obvious scammers, fakers, money seekers, gang bands (they even threatened me), etc. As a whole, I just met a couple of guys with who I stay more or less in touch. I must say, ok we all are gay, we all like sex... but that's not my main motivation to go there. I am curious about country and culture and people, and want to learn. And I would like to have gay friends there. Whatever happens in bed, who knows. I have a healthy sex life here, so I don't need to go crazy for that. On the other side, I see many foreigners, mostly europeans, looking for the stereotypical big black this and big black that, thinking people are just pieces of meat they can buy. And taking advantage of their economical position, much stronger than most of the ghanaians have there. From my point of view, this is specially disgusting. Ok as all we are humans beings, we are all the same, same kind of people, good people, bad people, in Europe, in Africa, everywhere, and will be like that when the Human kind moves to the Moon. I am specially curious to know how do gay ghanaians see us foreigners going there. Do you gay ghanaians think we are all cheap sex seekers...? Post reply Do you find this valuable? Keyword tags: None
andy.shilongo	1. RE: Would be nice to read different opinions.../meat market Mar 20 2009, 5:53 AM EDT This is a complicated culture related and poverty related issue. In Thailand there is a saying that "there are no equal relations; in any relation there is a small person and a big person". Prostitution is the oldest profession in the world. Where does prostitution start and looking after your social position stop. People who have sex appeal, a beautiful body/face, a big dick, are lucky that they have something to trade off. Old fat ugly people have to look for other assets in the trading game. Some do not have anything to trade. Of course it is sex which is being traded, not love. And it happens in hetrosexual relations just as much. Its not a specific gay problem, although the illegality of gay sex may inflate the stakes. Is it a cultural thing? In West Africa the practice has been identified as widespread. Women have 3 men: one for respectability, one for pleasure and one for money. But in Europe it was also common cause that women/men would take social status and financial soundness seriuously into account before entering into mariage. Farmers sons would marry farmers doughters to increase their landhold. It is just in the last 30 years or so, that women have independent careers and stopped looking for social mobility through mariage. A majority even stopped marying at all. Why do you need a partner for life if you can take care of yourself. I think in Ghana there is a certain boldness in which people take advantage from other people's status. Probably because a lot of status here is derrived from ability to show off wealth and take care of those clan members who have been less succesful (patronage system). The brother or uncle who has succeeded in life is respected and honored by the whole family and he has to prove his status is well deserved by at least picking up the taxi fare. Post reply Do you find this valuable?
errebe	2. RE: Would be nice to read different opinions.../meat market Mar 20 2009, 2:13 PM EDT \| Post edited: Mar 20 2009, 3:42 PM EDT Ok Andy so all is about trade...? Probably, is the same everywhere, Ghana, or Spain, or wherever, and is the same for all cultures. So is a human thing: trade of position, physical attributes... even love can be some kind of trade, since there are mutual benefits. Talking personally, what makes me feel more uncomfortable is when there is a lack of balance. I dislike to be the only one in command, or the only one providing, as much as I would dislike to be the commanded one or the provided one. I couldn't accept that (and I don't think anyone could, unless is continuously forced by circumstances). But that's a personal characteristic. Feeling like that, now should I doubt I could find a genuine relation there...? Friendship, or whatever kind. Anyway Andy, still one question you didn't touch. I will quote the last line in my opening message: "I am specially curious to know how do gay ghanaians see us foreigners going there. Do you gay ghanaians think we are all cheap sex seekers...?" I could also add PREDATORS... LOL Thanks Andy PS. Forgot to add I learnt a lot from your reply... I am impressed by the 3-men rule for women...!!! LOL... well, it wasn't that different here in Europe not that long ago, as you rightly mentioned... Post reply Do you find this valuable?