Two Month ago in kumasi,i came back from a friends place and saw my sister crying,I asked her why and she told me,ARE YOU GAY? AND ADVERTISING YOURSELF ON THE INTERNET? i couldn't quite believe it at first, and appeared pretty shocked,pretending i dont understand what she is talking about. And two hours of tears and explanations into my sexuality, we went to bed and things appeared to be, what I thought, OK between us.
The next morning, I got up and went downstairs, and she ignored me whenever I said anything to her. She soon took my nephew to school, said bye to the dog and not to me, and left.
Later that day when I came back from a friends place, I came home to find her on the sofa in front of the TV in tears. I asked her if she was OK and she told me up front that she had been crying all night and all morning at work,.. and that she HAD a brother, but now she had a poncing poofster. She then came up the stairs while I was sat texting my frends, and said; 'Oh, who you texting, your poxy gay friends' and said loads of bad things about my friends who are gay. She then told me that,SINCE MUM IS DEAD AND WE HAVE MOURN HER ALREADY,NOW SHE IS MOURNING HER BROTHER and that I was dead to her.
I dreaded coming to Accra that night. I went in and again she ignored me and didnt acknowledge me whatsoever. I went upstairs and she followed before saying stuff about the gays I speak to on MSN and online. She told me i should delate all my adverts on the internet and she will burn my laptop to stop me from chatting, and that if I dont, she was going to phone the police. From then, she kept coming into my room and checking up on me and rudely asking who I was speaking to. I didn't speak to her until that night when I went downstairs to find her crying at the table.
I asked her if she wanted to talk and she outright said to me that I was dead to her, that she didn't have a brother anymore, i have disgrace and ruined her life. On the floor crying my eyes out, this didn't stop her, and she carried out with the insults, making me sob even louder. She threatened to tell the whole family and turn against me [quite a homophobic family]. In the end, we sat down and talked about it, and because I just couldn't stand to hear this from my family, I told her I was bisexual, but as long as she knew that I did fancy men. This was the prime point anyway, because I'd just started meeting men as friends, and I hated the lying, hence why I told her. She accepted this and within the next few days, everything appeared normal.
On the saturday, I told her that I was going to meet my friend (a gay friend) who I met online and I told her this, and she threw a strop and ran into the bathroom.
From then on, we are not able to communicate like we did. Whenever I ask her a question, she just quickly answers the question with a yes or no answer and thats the end of it, and she has digs at me for no reason.
Now am back in Accra and since sexuallity is not a choice,i cant turn into something else,i call her sometimes but we dont talk for more than 30seconds. As an intelligent guy,now i think its time for me to be on my own,my mum who gave birth to me dows not exist anymore so let me live my life. am back here on gayghana to give power to my fellow Ghanaian gays....WE ARE AS NORMAL AS EVERYONE ELSE. LIVE AND LETS LIVE!!!
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andy.shilongo |
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Good 4U
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Apr 9 2010, 7:46 AM EDT by
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Thread started: Dec 26 2009, 6:56 AM EST
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Yes this is a thing we all have to go through at some point in time. Some relatives get over it in a few days, and come to their senses.Some never will. Tough luck. Well you are born with your siblings so you cant choose them, but you can choose your friends. Good thing you have decided to go ahead with your life. Maybe some day your sis will see its her who is having the problem and not you. If not, forget about it. Lead your own life as good as you can.
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Last Reply:
RE: Good 4U
By: ,
Apr 9 2010, 7:46 AM EDT
What happens between you is typical, and I admire your courage for the decision you took, but , that is not enough. in the first place as your sister you should have let her in on your secrets before going public on the net. The trouble will not go away b moving away from the place. Instead I suggest you find ways to reconcile wth your sister and made understand your situation and may be she might go along with. Good luck.
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